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Meanwhile in Russia: Everything You Need To Know About Sochi 2014 Closing Ceremony

Feb 24 • Featured Blogs, Sochi 2014 • 7688 Views • No Comments

The Sochi 2014 closing ceremony took place today. In the event that you missed it because you were a) too wasted from 7am hockey drinking or b) passed out on King West somewhere from staying up all night for 7am hockey; I got your back. I watched the closing ceremony and have recapped all the best and weirdest moments.

Fischt Stadium, otherwise known as Fish stadium, because, that only makes sense, was a ball of excitement. Guards were on watch for Pussy Riot members and stray dogs. Bermuda was wearing shorts, and that terrifying Russian cult music was on cue. Things got started with a little fireworks.
Next there were these crazy light beams.
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Russia also poked some fun at itself. During the opening ceremony one of the rings didn’t light up on the Olympic rings.

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This boat thing sailed in and there were three little kids in it.
The lead guy started waving a net around catching what I can only imagine must be souls.

Then there were some army men and ladies in odd headdresses, but those things aren’t nearly as interesting as this.enhanced-buzz-13763-1393183911-25

Yeah, there were for unknown reasons, a sequence of upside down houses with people strutting around like it’s all good. I didn’t know Dr Seuss was Russian.

Things for weirder of course, because well, this is Russia.

This guy came out and played an amazing piano solo. But there were all these dudes in white wigs.
That sort of reminded me of the dummy from the Saw movies.

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Things then got even worse as the Circus came to town.

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Listen, its not that I don’t like the circus. The red tents are pretty and who doesn’t like caramel apples and funnel cake-it’s just.. clowns. I can’t handle clowns. Sochi had clowns. I am NOT posting the clowns. You just have to trust my sacred emotional state.

This lady was pretty cool though. In a, huh, look at those pants way.


The next host also had it’s moment late in the show to strut its stuff. The next Winter Games host is Pyeongchang, South Korea.They had a fairly underwhelming introduction. The South Korean athletes coming out and dancing was alright though. They get 5 points for their silver tinfoil-esque outfits. They ARE the future.


And then.

The terrifying mascots reemerged.
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Terrifying bear was there to alight fears in children across the land and to extinguish the flame.
He walked forward to extinguish the flame and as the camera panned to his face a single tear ran down his cheek.

This was almost too much to see after seeing LeBron bleed this week.
I said goodbye to sleep and the Olympics.
It’s been amusing and entertaining Sochi-peace out.

What the hell am I going to watch now? #NFLWithdrawal


Photo Credit: CBC, Olympics Twitter, Yahoo and Deadspin

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