Tis the season when just about every old hack writer drags out their corny, tired ode to Christmas with a rehash of “Twas The Night Before Christmas” set to whatever subject or situation they see fit, in a lame attempt to seem fresh and witty, in spite of doing something that hundreds of thousands have done before them.
So, without further ado…here’s mine!
An NBA Carol
T’was the week before Christmas and all through the League,
Something was stirring… that team with Jeff Teague.
Atlanta’s Hawks flew and succeeded instead
of early predictions that left them for dead.
The Nets, however, had been playing like crap,
Despite their assault on the salary cap.
And, likewise, the Knicks were so far astern,
Rumors were spreading of Isiah’s return.
The Raptors made trades with a wink and a trick,
Designed to bring in a high lottery pick.
And, though winning and losing is never semantic,
The Celtics are losing, while winning the Atlantic.
While out in Chicago there’s a Rose all in tatters,
Pulling the Bulls from all Championship matters.
With the Pistons afoot and the Cavs right beside,
They might best be served with a Lottery ride.
Indiana, indeed, by setting the pace,
Has transformed the East to a two-franchise race.
The Heat, slowly starting with their aches and their pains,
Are still well-positioned to continue their reign.
Warming the West with a heat of its own,
Portland now Blazes its way towards the throne.
Like a storm, the Thunder keeps pounding on teams,
A return to the Finals still haunting their dreams.
San Antonio, Spurred by its recent success,
Wants only the ring and won’t settle for less.
With a Doc on board to help cure all that ails,
The Clipper’s ship now has wind in its sails.
Like a Phoenix, the Suns have risen from ashes
To burn all the doubters by winning most clashes.
As the Warriors mount their attack on the gates,
Visions abound of a new Golden state.
But, Houston – propelled by its Rockets’ red glare,
Has hopes that they’ll be the last team standing there,
While just across town, wild Mavericks are running,
For Playoff contention is what they are gunning.
In Denver, the Nuggets are mining for gold,
While even with Kobe, the Lakers look old.
As the Wolves and the Pelicans prepare to make bids,
The rest of the League studies-up college kids.
From the depths of the Draft, to the top of the hill,
Some teams will arrive with good health and sheer-will.
While these teams compete for the ultimate prize,
Other teams lurk with youth clouding their eyes:
On Randle, on Wiggins, Jabari and Gordon,
On Smart, on Zagreb, on Embid and Exum.
From Duke and Kentucky and Kansas and Louisville
These young college kids have big dreams yet to fulfill.
And to shepherd them in, there’s a brand new Commish’
Though, like Stern, I doubt that he’ll grand every wish.
Adam, like David, will still hold the line,
While searching for new revenue streams to mine.
Parity, stars and merchandise sales,
Should help minimize any possible fails.
To paraphrase an old ad like recycled plastic,
Rest assured…the NBA will still be “Fantastic.”