In the finest tradition of St. Patrick’s Day, may we all share a(nother!) drink to sadly mark its passing for the year and a(nother!) drink to honor all of the drinks that we shared to mark its arrival. Hey, while we’re at it, why don’t we share a(nother!!) drink to…
On second thought, to spare us all a(nother!!!) trip to rehab, why don’t we call it a hangover and instead partake of a slightly less-stereotypical but famous Irish tradition – the Limerick!
Of course, being a devout and practicing parishioner at the Church of the Boston Celtics (oh, so now you’re offering me a drink!), I’d be remiss if I didn’t start things off with a blessing for my beloved team so close to this most appropriate holiday.
A Celtic(s) Blessing
May your (#)9′s become 10′s,
May your (#)0′s become heroes,
And may Kelly, Green and Sully bring the luck of the Irish to a team sorely lacking,
May the rebuilding be short and fruitful,
May the fruits be sweet and plentiful,
And may plenty of fruit be available for harvest come Draft Day.
And now…the Limericks…
There was an old man named Phil Jackson
Joined a team short on positive action
Now the hopes are alive that some magic survived
In the man now that he’s out of traction
In Toronto the Dinos are roaring
And the faith of the fan base is soaring
Omission, it seems, can embolden one’s team
If it’s Rudy that one is exporting.
Though tanking (the word) made him frantic
And denied there existed such antics
The Commish did admit, when it came down to it
The case is just one of semantics.
And, speaking of tanking, there’s Philly
The Sixers are so bad it’s silly
As they try to pretend that they did not intend
To win by losing is gilding the lily.
In the League you’re restricted from betting
When you gamble it causes such fretting
So, it’s strange when you hear “Lottery” makes them cheer
And excited to near-bedwetting.
While it’s been a tight race between two,
And challengers, there are but a few
The race MVP, should now contain three
With Durant, LeBron and Blake, too.
In the League, there’s a dawning new day
There’s a player who’s openly gay
Though, I’m glad he’s arrived and for all that he’s strived
I can’t wait ‘til it’s just, “Can he play?”
Though their past has been bright and once bold
Laker present is just dark and cold
As was said from the start, they now master this art:
Thinking young while looking so old.
The Mavs are defying the odds
They’re in tune with the basketball gods
But enjoy while you can, and don’t make any plans
For trips without fishing rods.
The East has been less than exciting
To the West they’ve been very inviting
However, we’ve learned that those tables can turn
In the end, it’s the East we’ll be knighting.
Photo credits to: playmakeronline.com, bounceorangeball.com, espn.go.com, nypost.com, sports.yahoo.com, ballertainment.com, thecourtsidecollective.com